


My Heart is Yours

by silvertrails



Series: A Creature of Two Worlds [16]
Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 18:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17350160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvertrails/pseuds/silvertrails
Summary: Glorfindel finally comes back to speak with Elladan, and tells him about his life, and his reasons to stay away.





	My Heart is Yours

**My Heart is Yours  
** By CC  
August, 2008 

This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is made and no harm is intended. The year is TA 330, so the twins are 200 years old. 

Fanfic100 Prompt 006: Hours

50 Passages 34: We are going now to a secret place we have, somewhat less than ten miles from here.

Thank you to Alex for beta reading this story, and for doing it so fast! ^___^

* * *

Elladan finished adjusting the saddlebag’s straps, and rubbed Elgaer’s coppery coat affectionately before taking the reins. He was going to leave the vale and travel to a small village where his current lover, a young man named Dresdel, lived. Elrohir was in the Eryn Galen with Erestor, assisting the older elf on a diplomatic mission. Since the death of King Oropher, resentment and distrust had grown between the Noldor and the elves from the Greenwood, so Elrond was trying to bridge that gap and establish a trade agreement with King Thranduil. Elladan missed his twin, but duty often separated them these days. Elrond had promised that this would change once they learned all that was necessary for them to be in charge of Imladris, if that time ever came.

It was like their father to plan in advance, and for something that might never happen. Elladan shrugged. He’d rather ride through unknown lands, learning about the wilder creatures still walking on Ennorath than visit the Great Woods. Having a good time with Dresdel, wine and dance included, was part of it and would distract him until Elrohir was back. There would be a festival in the village, and Elladan was determined to stay there until his twin returned. 

There was another reason for Elladan to leave the vale. Glorfindel was about to come back from a long trip to the Havens, and Elladan didn’t want to be in Imladris when the elf arrived. He was tired of trying to guess what Glorfindel expected from him. At least Dresdel enjoyed Elladan’s company. Sometimes Elladan wondered if he should make the choice of Elros and stay in Ennorath with Dresdel, but being separated from Elrohir was simply unthinkable. Elladan was certain that his brother would stay in Ennorath for his sake, but he could not ask this of his twin. 

“Are you leaving the vale, Elladan?” a voice said behind him. 

Elladan whirled around, startled. Glorfindel was standing at the entrance of the stables, and a groom was taking his horse away. The older elf was still dressed in the grey breeches and cloak he usually wore when traveling, his hair held back by a single braid. Elladan’s heart ached at the sight of him, but he hid his emotions behind a scowl. 

“I think that is obvious,” he said, guiding his horse past Glorfindel and out of the stable. The elf followed him, and when Elladan mounted, placed a hand on Elgaer’s hackamore. 

Elladan frowned. “What are you...?”

“Please, Elladan, would you come with me now?” 

Elladan stared at Glorfindel, surprised. He had waited for so long for this opportunity that he could not believe the moment was at hand at last; he was suddenly afraid. What if Glorfindel told him that he would never be ready? Anger threatened to fill Elladan’s chest, but he reined himself in and nodded slowly. It would be better to get this over with, even if it hurt. 

“Where are we going?” he asked, still trying to get a hold of his temper. Whether Glorfindel wanted him or not, Elladan would show the blond elf that he was no child. 

“We are going to a secret place I have, somewhat less than ten miles from here,” Glorfindel explained. “Nobody will disturb us there. We will speak, and I will explain my reasons for staying away.”

“Why now, Glorfindel?” Elladan asked, unable to stop himself. “What has changed for you to make this decision?”

Glorfindel’s expression fell slightly. “I have realized that there is no right time for this, Dan, and that I will lose your trust if I wait longer. I know not if I still have your love, but I want your friendship at least, and I owe you this.”

“You owe me nothing, Glorfindel,” Elladan said. 

“I need you to hear me out,” Glorfindel said. “Only then will you understand, and maybe forgive me.”

Elladan opened his mouth to speak, but something in Glorfindel’s face stilled his tongue. He nodded, and once Glorfindel had a fresh mount, followed the elf outside the vale. They rode for hours along the western side of the Misty Mountains, passing by a village of men where Gildor and his company usually stopped to rest. Elladan himself had been there with Elrohir. It was a peaceful place; nothing like Dresdel’s village, where men were hostile to strangers. 

Eventually they reached a small beech wood, hidden behind a hill. Elladan wondered why he had never seen the entrance before, but didn’t ask. He followed Glorfindel in silence until they found a cabin shaded by an old beech tree. 

“Why is it that I never noticed these woods?” Elladan asked as they dismounted.

“They are well hidden, and there is power in that creek,” Glorfindel said. “Nobody who doesn’t know of this place can find it. We can talk here safely, and return to Imladris tomorrow.”

“I wonder if Elrohir would have sensed the power...” 

“You might have sensed it too, Dan, if you accepted that part of your heritage,” Glorfindel said quietly. Elladan stared at Glorfindel, wondering if the elf could read minds. Elrohir knew of Elladan’s doubts, because they shared everything, but nobody else did.

“I feel more a man than an elf, no matter my heritage,” Elladan said as he followed Glorfindel inside the cabin. “I cannot imagine myself in the Blessed Lands, trapped behind the Piélori, unable to come back.”

“That is not how it feels,” Glorfindel said softly.

“But you left there. Twice.”

“I did, and though I do not regret coming here the second time... It is about the first time that I wish to speak. Let me prepare some tea for us.”

Elladan nodded, though he would have preferred wine. He was more worried about this conversation. He had heard tales about Glorfindel’s close friendship with Ecthelion, but that was the past, wasn’t it? Gorfindel wouldn’t have come back if a lover waited for him in Aman, would he?

The cabin was small but cozy, Elladan noted as he sat at the table with the steaming cup Glorfindel gave him. He could see the stairs leading to what seemed to be a bedroom. Had Glorfindel stayed here when he was out of the vale? The sound of Glorfindel clearing his throat took Elladan out of his musings. He looked at the elf and nodded, waiting for him to speak.

“I grew up in Tirion,” Glorfindel said softly. “I was a happy elfling, the youngest among my cousins, though I was born in the same year as Fëanaro’s twins and Arakano. Ecthelion was our friend, and we made a merry group. We grew together, and had fun together until the swords separated us from the twins.”

Elladan nodded in silence. He could see Glorfindel’s hands trembling, but he could also *feel* Glorfindel’s inner turmoil; it was making him uneasy. Something was going to happen; something would change forever after Glorfindel finished with his tale.

“We crossed the ice together,” Glorfindel continued. “We knew not what waited for us in Middle-earth, but we vowed to stay together. Arakano and Ecthelion were very close, and though I shared in that closeness, there was a special bond between them. It did not bother me. I was not interested in having a soul mate.”

“I thought that you and Ecthelion were lovers in Gondolin,” Elladan blurted out. 

Glorfindel nodded. “Ecthelion and I were lovers, but what kept us together was the memory of the one we had lost. Arakano was Ecthelion’s soul mate, Dan, not I. We both knew it.”

Elladan closed his eyes for a moment, trying to understand where this conversation was leading. Glorfindel had been very close to his cousins, but after coming to Ennorath, he and Ecthelion had been together until Gondolin fell. How could he compete with that? Even if Arakano was Ecthelion’s true soul mate, Elladan didn’t want to be a replacement.

“It was painful for me to lose Arakano,” Glorfindel continued, “But Ecthelion was devastated. Only then did I realize how close they had been, and that though I loved them both, a part of me had always been empty. Ecthelion and I tried to fill the emptiness Arakano left, but we both knew it would never be the same.”

“Why are you telling this to me, Glorfindel?” Elladan asked, unable to stay silent. He didn’t understand, and he was starting to feel afraid. He was trembling with the emotions he could sense in Glorfindel. 

“Because I want you to understand my reluctance, Dan,” Glorfindel said quietly. “I love you, I truly love you, but I fear...”

“What do you fear, Glorfindel? I don’t understand.”

“That I might lose you to this place that you so love,” Glorfindel said. “That you might choose to stay here, and die.”

Elladan stared at Glorfindel, unable to form a coherent thought. He had not realized... Would Glorfindel leave if Elladan decided to stay? Could he ask the elf to remain in Ennorath and risk fading? 

“Elladan?”

“I can’t...” Elladan gasped.

“Elladan, breathe.”

Elladan shook his head and stood, trying to shield himself from Glorfindel’s emotions, but it seemed impossible to do so. Strong arms came around him, and Elladan all but sagged against Glorfindel’s body.

“I can’t promise...”

“I know,” Glorfindel said. 

“And I can’t ask you to stay here and fade...”

“You are not asking me,” Glorfindel said, his hand slowly stroking Elladan’s hair. It was having a calming effect on him. Or was he simply too drained to do anything but hold onto Glorfindel’s cloak?

“What are we going to do now?”

“We stay together, if you still want me,” Glorfindel said. “I have made you suffer because I was afraid to lose you; I should have realized how much I was hurting you. I am sorry, Dan, but I could not explain things to you before. You were so young... I love you, and if you still feel the same for me, I would like us to be together.”

Elladan withdrew a little and looked at Glorfindel. “But what will happen when the time for the choice comes? What will become of us? I won’t stay if Rohir leaves, but what if he decides to stay? My heart is yours, Glorfindel, but life without him...”

“I would never ask you to leave your twin behind, Dan. Whatever you two decide, I will stay with you. If that means to stay in Ennorath, we will share every precious moment until the time comes.”

Elladan shivered. “But what if you fade?”

“It will not happen,” Glorfindel said determinedly. Elladan knew that it might happen anyway, and that he might die too, if he made the choice of Elros. He knew that their relationship might have no future, but he simply nodded and buried his face against Glorfindel’s chest. All that mattered was to share whatever time they had left.


End file.
